I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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