Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
