Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
