Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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