Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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