I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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