it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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