He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
