First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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