I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
