I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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