Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm really busy with my period
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