READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
