I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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