there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
