That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
