: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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