Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dear god my vagina.
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