Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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