why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
