Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
