who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
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I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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