Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
