The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
