It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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