i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
