theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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