...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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