My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
