Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
