didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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