You work out of a Hotel?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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