if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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