You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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