Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
