Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
