I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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