Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
