So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
