how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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