I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
