I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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