Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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