covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
