omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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