nut hugger
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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