Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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