We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
