Sober January is a disaster.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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