He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Randomize
