id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We are two peas in an std pod
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
