...so i touched it.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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