Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
