I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Congratulations! We have a period
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
