she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize