dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
