AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
