Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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